Sam Makhoul – Page 19

May 31, 2011

Are you happy at work?

I heard someone in a lift one morning complaining about her work. “My job sucks,” she said to a friend. Never one to pass up an opportunity to coach on the fly, I turned, smiled and said, “what would you rather be doing?” She looked back embarrassingly. I quickly apologised for eavesdropping. The awkwardness did not stop there. We exited the lift only to meet again in a line up at the same café. She turned to me and said, “You know, I really wanted to be an actor.” I told her that she should pursue that passion and she replied. “That’s just not realistic. I have bills and a lifestyle.”

This got me thinking. We are made to feel guilty for not pursuing, what we think, is the job of our dreams; because doing what you love is the mantra of many life coaches. In fact I heard Donald Trump trumpeting this message in an interview. But what if we pursue our dream job and not like it? I have met some people who have pursued their passion and left a high paying executive job to start a new business only to end up losing a lot of money. They ended up hating, what they thought was, their dream. You don’t get to hear about such stories, because in personal development circles, it does not sell books and coaching programs.

I believe that we all should work. Working completes us and contributes to our HAPPINESS. But do we have to go so far as to say that we should all do what we think we love. If so, no-one would want to do the unsexy or uncool or unpopular jobs. Not everyone can be a Beyonce or Tom Ford or Steve Jobs. So there must be a better way to cater to that human need of being happy at work. I believe there are three ways.

1. Master your Craft

If you are good at what you do, you will start to love it. Competence builds confidence and with confidence comes self-belief. So master your craft by performing your job to the best of your ability. You can do this by learning from others at work – be mentored by a top performer. Alternatively you can read and research your industry. Attend conferences and/or enrol for short courses. Really get to know your product or service and how it affects your customers. Practise improving your accuracy before you go for speed.

2. Focus on Making a Difference

We are charitable by nature. We are happiest when we making a contribution. Therefore we are highly motivated by the results of our work. When we see the connection between our work and how it impacts on other people’s lives, it makes us happy to know that we are making a difference in society. We value ourselves in equal proportion to the value we add to society. In fact recent research shows that organisations who are focused on purpose before profit tend to have the highest staff and customer engagement; and ironically the highest financial returns (See Firms of Endearment published by Wharton Business School).

3. Have Fun

Work in an environment that fosters fun in the workplace and incorporates fun activities for staff throughout the week. There have been many studies done supporting the fact that having fun at work improves creativity, innovation and customer engagement. i.e. happy staff equals happy customers. Gary Kelly, CEO of SouthWest airlines once said that, “People rarely succeed at anything unless they are having fun doing it.” Adopt that as your personal motto, but remember that having fun at work does not mean wasting time on frivolous activities that are not work related. It means having fun in the context of your work.

May 20, 2011

Curiosity is the Best Teacher

If self-awareness is a great teacher of all things internal, then curiosity is the greatest teacher of all things external.

Applying Curiosity to Information

CURIOSITY LEADS TO GENIUS

In the past, the education system conditioned us to believe that learning is a temporary obligation during our younger years. We were told it was the means to the real end game – work. In truth learning should be a life-long journey. The best entrepreneurs and thought leaders never stop learning about their craft. They apply a curiosity to their learning. They read books and ask ‘why?’ or ‘how come?’ or ‘can it be done better’. There curiosity leads them to discover new ideas and new ways of communicating and doing business. Curiosity is their best teacher.

When we read books or watch educational videos we should all be asking these same questions. The great thought leader Matt Church calls it the “Yes AND…” or the “Yes BUT…” principle. To apply that principle, we must let our curiosity breakthrough our fear barrier. We all have this curiosity inside of us as children but over the years fear tends to keep it locked away. Trust that curiosity. Unleash it. You will find behind every curious thought is the potential to discover your genius or a genius idea.

Applying Curiosity to People

There is also another area of knowledge, apart from books, where we can apply our curiosity – People. There is vast knowledge to be gained from listening to others. Therefore we must master the skill of listening. We can learn so much from other people when we listen to them with undivided attention. Learning by listening is a very fast way of acquiring knowledge. We can never know everything in life but by listening to others we can learn from their experience and that accelerates our learning.

whispering — THE PERSON LISTENING LEARNS MORE THAN THE PERSON TALKING

Listening is a dying art. Many people overindulge in constant talking that they go through life never really learning from others. I was recently sitting in a café and overheard a conversation between a boss and what looked like her protégé. She said to him, “We have two ears and only one mouth. We must use those two faculties in that proportion. We must listen to our customers twice as much as we talk.” Very good advice, I thought. I also thought that the best entrepreneurs are the ones that are curious about what their customers are saying.

So what are you curious about? Are you accepting everyday information as it is or are you adding to it or contradicting it with your curiosity?

May 16, 2011

Two Greatest Teachers On Earth! Part 1

Why didn’t they tell us about these two great teachers at school?

The most successful people on earth use these two great teachers. They live by them, follow them and listen to them. Who are they? What are they?

The first great teacher is self-awareness.

Self Awareness

Learning should be an internal adventure. The problem with most school education is that we are only ever taught things that are external to us. Therefore we never develop self-awareness. And when we do not have self-awareness, it is very difficult for us to discover our talents and passions.

To have self-awareness is to know all aspects of ourselves. Especially, our thoughts and feelings. Only when we know ourselves can we know our talents. To learn about ourselves, we must learn not only what they teach us at school. We must learn about our health, love, family, friendship, work, wealth and charity. We should be learning about all these areas throughout our life. Only then can we discover the beauty inside our heart and mind. Only then can we know what hidden gems lie within.

When we consciously and consistently learn about these areas of life, we start to develop a sense of who we really are and what we really want. We start to discover our talents through that self-awareness. When we start to learn as a part of self-discovery and not obligation – we learn with intuition. We learn through creativity. When we are given the freedom to learn what we want, we start to act with responsibility and purpose. Learning becomes a part of who we are for life, and not just an obligation during our younger years. We become inquisitive and curious. Our inner genius will then present itself in a magical way.

We all have a talent that has potential for genius. Every human is born with a talent that is different to everyone else because no two humans are born the same. We are all different. We don’t look the same and we certainly do not think or feel the same. So we all must have a talent that can be applied in a unique way. How and where we apply that talent is what leads to genius. When we build self-awareness in each of the aforementioned areas of life, we give ourself the opportunity to discover that genius.

If I was in charge of all education on this Earth, I would make sure that every school curriculum taught children self-awareness from a young age. What do you think?

NEXT: Who/What is the next greatest teacher?

May 10, 2011

Sadness vs Regret

It is okay to feel sad sometimes. Sadness is as much a part of life as happiness. It is often an expression of our compassion and shows that we can have empathy for people, which is a good thing.

Regret is what you must be weary of. Regret feels like sadness but is so much more painful, because it is something that we bring on ourselves when we focus on it. Regret is also more painful because its cause sits in the past. We cannot change the past, whereas sadness can be turned into happiness by what we do now and in the future.

May 8, 2011

Mothers Day and The Greatest Gift Ever

It’s a Sydney dawn on this beautiful Sunday morning. The red autumn leaves are rustling on the trees outside as I sit thinking of what I can teach my youngest daughter about Mother’s Day. Is it all about buying flowers and enjoying lunch together? Or is it about acknowledging the greatest gift of our lives.

From the moment we are born and cradled in our mothers’ arms we experience the milk of human kindness. This is the first lesson we all learn as infants. It’s also the greatest gift we ever receive from our mothers. It’s the gift of unconditional love.

My mother often said to me seven words that would make me feel loved. It also made me feel safe and secure. These words were the cradle of support for my heart. She would say them to me whenever things were not going my way. Typically, it was when I came home from school with hurt feelings. It could have been from doing poorly in a school exam or failing to make the soccer team. Whatever the disappointment, I remember that my mother only ever had to say these seven words to lift my spirits and make me feel special and valuable. As I grew into an adult, these seven words also made me fearless in business!

She would say, ‘I love you always, no matter what.’

This was Mum’s way of saying that no matter what I did and no matter what happened, she would always love me and have a special place in her heart for me. It made me feel like I could accept any problem or handle any challenge. It gave me the courage to take on challenges without fearing failure. Most of all it taught me to love myself.

So what is the greatest gift we can give our mothers in return? The same gift of course. We should love our mothers unconditionally and remember that mothers are not perfect. They did their best in what was ‘a mans world’. It was not easy being a woman in the 20th Century, let alone a mother. Being a mother was, and in some places continues to be, a thankless and payless job. So remember this if and when you consciously or subconsciously judge her. Push past the imperfections and remember the greatest gift you ever received from her. Acknowledge that whatever love you have for yourself came from her.

I know I am posting this journal entry at the wrong time for most social media activity. So it will probably be lost in cyber space. But for those of you who get to read it, remember to forgive your mother for any pain that you might be holding onto. Love your mother unconditionally, like she did you when you first born.

I am lucky enough to have a daughter. She teaches me a lot about women. I look at her and see my mother. I realise that women never truly grow ‘older’. They all like to dance and play dress-up. So today I am taking my mother dancing! (With my wife and daughter. It should be fun 🙂

Have a great day and may you always live from the heart.

Sam.